Showed a few people at the tattoo group my tattoo around a table and told Dave, Nick etc in the car which felt good. Someone there said they wondered if I'd prefer somewhere I'd be able to see it always but I'm happy with my back. Right now I just love having it. It feels great and like I'm just at the start. I feel stronger, more confident and like I'm truly expressing my soul. I do feel very worse case scenario it will just become a narrative as a part of my life but hopefully I'll just keep loving it.
It was funny to tell my Tauranga friends too who were a bit surprised while seeming to like it. I guess it was all just going on within me.
Monday, 23 September 2013
Friday, 20 September 2013
now saturday 21st, had the tattoo Tue 17th at 4pm. the experience of having it and that day and the week
So I've now got it. I couldn't post that night. I felt strange from the whole experience. Below are 3 photos quite self explanatory. The night before, a close up after done then one the night when it had been done. I feel pretty great about it actually.
To start with the experience of having the tattoo itself.....
I had the transfer thing put on me to see the outline. It started slowly and was a bearable pain. I thought I'd breeze it. Karla stopped once after about 35 mins to change some stuff which was a welcome break. When it got to around an hour I started to find the whole thing quite grating. Like having that just bearable pain but very constantly and continuously. With that there was so much excitement etc buzzing around for me and anxiety which must've been having a huge effect. I'm still feeling that now and that was my reason I didn't write anything that night because I was so kind of weird and charged by the whole thing. Now the experience of having it seems kind of like a blur to me. I went to the bathroom and rinsed my face after around 55 minutes. It was just a bit before then I think at around 40 minutes I turned around for more work to be done. Karla had a lovely bedside manner. I'm so glad she did it. I was glancing at my watch a lot and thinking it could go to more around 2 hours as that was the original estimate (or 1 - 2 hours anyway). Suddenly then it was over. I think just over an hour. It was a relief as I was mentally preparing for more but struggling but then felt really happy it had ended.
I looked in the mirror to check it. I felt a bit funny and couldn't help but think it was maybe a bit too over to one side but I felt weird and did know it looked really cool and it was probably all alright. Karla recommended I get something with sugar in. I paid and it was only $160 which felt a great bonus. I'd budgeted 300 so plenty left over. Not that money was the issue but always nice to pay less. I guess it was just one hour of work. She said I could have a bit of the labyrinth topped up in 4-6 weeks if it looked like it needed it for free.
I withdrew an extra 20 I needed then paid in cash. I still had quite a bit of cash I had already on me. I felt really weird. Karla said 'youre no longer a tattoo virgin' at one stage which was kind of cool and amusing. I left and got a bottle of coke from subway which did actually feel good for me. I was still in the work car and on a weird high so thought it would be good to just get home then treat myself to a takeaway. Karla also recommended getting some cream for it to use twice a day for a week then once a day for a week after.
I got back and changed cars then went to Northcote for that super takeaway which I had there again which was great. I felt I deserved it somehow. I also got the cream and the 5 for 5 dollars dvds. I was thinking of actually having a day off the next day but thought that may be pretty wimpy. I showed Alex later on who liked it and Carly checked it out too who really liked.
I felt really cool looking in the mirror. I took a photo and also posted on the vegan dating and friendship forum. Loads of thoughts were going through my mind about loving my tattoo and after all the thinking how I'd finally done it and now it was over and I had something forever.
rest of the week to now...
The rest of the week has felt quite strange. It's now Saturday and still in the week on Thursday and Friday I kind of wanted a day off so was great to just get through work. I felt this good new sense of me and more focussed. I thought about that cool post about the whole spiritual experience of tattooing. Now it's still really all kicking in how it will all play out for me. I have to say though I was struggling to enjoy it towards the end.
I feel kind of a bit stronger and more affirmed in me and all that the tattoo encompasses. The life journey, the soul overcoming the shadow, birth death and rebirth and the peace and the healing arts. Linking to my work with Amanda also too. It has everything I could've wanted.
It was cool to show Shanez who liked it and commented on the fb page too. Also good to tell my sis. I can't imagine I'll ever get another one really but I guess can't say for sure. It's so early now and again it's interesting how it will just all play out.
I enjoyed reading this about a heaving tattood girl. Also enjoyed this, a guy writing about his experience of getting a tattoo then almost how he became more of what his tattoo represented etc etc.
I'm still feeling quite overwhelmed by just having mine on my body now. There's still so many thought going around it's hard to put into words. It's been an unusual week. Like a normal work week but with a huge deep experience just threw in there. Like a new stage, this image on my body which will always be there. A showing of where I'm up to in life and images I stand for and resonate with me. A few girls described it as gorgeous which felt very nice. Obviously the image could be alien to me but it resonates me. I have a resonance with that art and it feels like an expression of my soul and things I've been through and stand for which feels wonderful.
I will write when other thoughts etc may arise. For now though I basically wanted a tattoo and I went through the process and got one consciously. I can look back at this and remember my reasons. I was out last night and people were talking about tattoos. I was kind of keen to say about mine but it wasn't appropriate and I would've been forgetting the labyrinth purpose of the right way forward and it wouldn't of been doing that. I'm always remembering what the symbols mean.
I want to keep running and doing stuff but maybe some time just with a bit of rest can be helpful. I've said I love my tattoo. I probably do. I'm certainly glad I've got it. Looking at the pics below I feel a great moving on in the photos. Wow I love to look at it, hehe!! peace out for now but may post again when other thoughts around my tattoo pop up.
To start with the experience of having the tattoo itself.....
I had the transfer thing put on me to see the outline. It started slowly and was a bearable pain. I thought I'd breeze it. Karla stopped once after about 35 mins to change some stuff which was a welcome break. When it got to around an hour I started to find the whole thing quite grating. Like having that just bearable pain but very constantly and continuously. With that there was so much excitement etc buzzing around for me and anxiety which must've been having a huge effect. I'm still feeling that now and that was my reason I didn't write anything that night because I was so kind of weird and charged by the whole thing. Now the experience of having it seems kind of like a blur to me. I went to the bathroom and rinsed my face after around 55 minutes. It was just a bit before then I think at around 40 minutes I turned around for more work to be done. Karla had a lovely bedside manner. I'm so glad she did it. I was glancing at my watch a lot and thinking it could go to more around 2 hours as that was the original estimate (or 1 - 2 hours anyway). Suddenly then it was over. I think just over an hour. It was a relief as I was mentally preparing for more but struggling but then felt really happy it had ended.
I looked in the mirror to check it. I felt a bit funny and couldn't help but think it was maybe a bit too over to one side but I felt weird and did know it looked really cool and it was probably all alright. Karla recommended I get something with sugar in. I paid and it was only $160 which felt a great bonus. I'd budgeted 300 so plenty left over. Not that money was the issue but always nice to pay less. I guess it was just one hour of work. She said I could have a bit of the labyrinth topped up in 4-6 weeks if it looked like it needed it for free.
I withdrew an extra 20 I needed then paid in cash. I still had quite a bit of cash I had already on me. I felt really weird. Karla said 'youre no longer a tattoo virgin' at one stage which was kind of cool and amusing. I left and got a bottle of coke from subway which did actually feel good for me. I was still in the work car and on a weird high so thought it would be good to just get home then treat myself to a takeaway. Karla also recommended getting some cream for it to use twice a day for a week then once a day for a week after.
I got back and changed cars then went to Northcote for that super takeaway which I had there again which was great. I felt I deserved it somehow. I also got the cream and the 5 for 5 dollars dvds. I was thinking of actually having a day off the next day but thought that may be pretty wimpy. I showed Alex later on who liked it and Carly checked it out too who really liked.
I felt really cool looking in the mirror. I took a photo and also posted on the vegan dating and friendship forum. Loads of thoughts were going through my mind about loving my tattoo and after all the thinking how I'd finally done it and now it was over and I had something forever.
rest of the week to now...
The rest of the week has felt quite strange. It's now Saturday and still in the week on Thursday and Friday I kind of wanted a day off so was great to just get through work. I felt this good new sense of me and more focussed. I thought about that cool post about the whole spiritual experience of tattooing. Now it's still really all kicking in how it will all play out for me. I have to say though I was struggling to enjoy it towards the end.
I feel kind of a bit stronger and more affirmed in me and all that the tattoo encompasses. The life journey, the soul overcoming the shadow, birth death and rebirth and the peace and the healing arts. Linking to my work with Amanda also too. It has everything I could've wanted.
It was cool to show Shanez who liked it and commented on the fb page too. Also good to tell my sis. I can't imagine I'll ever get another one really but I guess can't say for sure. It's so early now and again it's interesting how it will just all play out.
I enjoyed reading this about a heaving tattood girl. Also enjoyed this, a guy writing about his experience of getting a tattoo then almost how he became more of what his tattoo represented etc etc.
I'm still feeling quite overwhelmed by just having mine on my body now. There's still so many thought going around it's hard to put into words. It's been an unusual week. Like a normal work week but with a huge deep experience just threw in there. Like a new stage, this image on my body which will always be there. A showing of where I'm up to in life and images I stand for and resonate with me. A few girls described it as gorgeous which felt very nice. Obviously the image could be alien to me but it resonates me. I have a resonance with that art and it feels like an expression of my soul and things I've been through and stand for which feels wonderful.
I will write when other thoughts etc may arise. For now though I basically wanted a tattoo and I went through the process and got one consciously. I can look back at this and remember my reasons. I was out last night and people were talking about tattoos. I was kind of keen to say about mine but it wasn't appropriate and I would've been forgetting the labyrinth purpose of the right way forward and it wouldn't of been doing that. I'm always remembering what the symbols mean.
I want to keep running and doing stuff but maybe some time just with a bit of rest can be helpful. I've said I love my tattoo. I probably do. I'm certainly glad I've got it. Looking at the pics below I feel a great moving on in the photos. Wow I love to look at it, hehe!! peace out for now but may post again when other thoughts around my tattoo pop up.
Monday, 16 September 2013
The day before
day before getting first ever tattoo. 16.9.13
I just realised that tonight is a really good time to write as a journal. My own journey of getting to where I am and the day before this kind of initiation
ritual I guess. It's been a long time since I had the idea of wanting to get a tattoo. I guess it was around April when I first moved here. Speaking to others about
tattoos and reading that book which was really good saying about initiation, individuality, rites of passage etc. Then there were the less positive ones about boredon etc.
It was all about that phase I went through really in becoming Vegan, the whole dark night of the soul etc then coming through. It has been the most major ones of
those in my life. I've never felt so strongly about something social before.
I feel the design really suits me and brings together a lot. I love the labyrinth and the sun. I can't imagine anything more appropriate and more me. It's good to that
it's not so fixed like saying a word or something. I'm getting a feeling now like I'm really changing and this is part of me carrying on being the new me. I feel I
really have thought about it a lot. Last night i was feeling quite charged as I thought about it in also thinking of the sun as an aries symbol too. so it's the labyrunth
as the life journey, making that best possible effort etc and that showing how much the soul develops. that's really great and has to be what I stand for in terms of
something really positive in relation to all of life which is great and can't be beaten really. it will always mean something to who i am. the looking in and centreing and
finding the best way. part of all my pd with amanda, course etc.
then theres the sun which shows death, birth, revirth etc. what ive been through and what ill continue to go through. i came through the dark night well. then
theres the 7 bigger rays showing the 7 chakras and reminding me of the other sun symbol of the healing arts and love of peace. it shoudl look pretty well on its
own. i do feel ill be more me with it.
im in a place now whereas im very much walking a walk and i dont know where its taking me but i know im heading towards greater spiritual fulfillment. like i have to keep
cultivating and personally developing with all these ideas i have now.
so this will be an expression of me individually, my rite of passage to being more me. somehow i feel ill feel more manly with it than without it. i could go on
about modifying the design but that would be over thinking. i feel as sure about it as i possibly can be and it's one of those things now i know is the way forward
and it would just be fear stopping me. its not a bad decision. if it is in reterospect then i know that right now i operated from the best possible level of consciousness
i could and that i am an aware person at this time.
it is like entering a relationship or getting married. it could go wrong but you do your best at the time. i will move through this and use that symbol through
my life. i hope i can have a love relationship with it on my body and it can grow old with me as a friend said about hers. i do feel the potential love for it now and
want to really carry that on as a commitment as cheesy as it sounds. i'll write again tomorrow after i get it.
thinking back to of the last year since april 2012. so much with running and Tao group, all my new connections and coming throuh al the nasty D situation , all the houses
change and now to now and feeling pretty damm good and even stopping drinking maybe. its cool to have the feeling of wanting a tattoo and to be following it through.
i know it would onlyt be fear stopping me. i am excited and nervous. that fair feeling i guess.
I just realised that tonight is a really good time to write as a journal. My own journey of getting to where I am and the day before this kind of initiation
ritual I guess. It's been a long time since I had the idea of wanting to get a tattoo. I guess it was around April when I first moved here. Speaking to others about
tattoos and reading that book which was really good saying about initiation, individuality, rites of passage etc. Then there were the less positive ones about boredon etc.
It was all about that phase I went through really in becoming Vegan, the whole dark night of the soul etc then coming through. It has been the most major ones of
those in my life. I've never felt so strongly about something social before.
I feel the design really suits me and brings together a lot. I love the labyrinth and the sun. I can't imagine anything more appropriate and more me. It's good to that
it's not so fixed like saying a word or something. I'm getting a feeling now like I'm really changing and this is part of me carrying on being the new me. I feel I
really have thought about it a lot. Last night i was feeling quite charged as I thought about it in also thinking of the sun as an aries symbol too. so it's the labyrunth
as the life journey, making that best possible effort etc and that showing how much the soul develops. that's really great and has to be what I stand for in terms of
something really positive in relation to all of life which is great and can't be beaten really. it will always mean something to who i am. the looking in and centreing and
finding the best way. part of all my pd with amanda, course etc.
then theres the sun which shows death, birth, revirth etc. what ive been through and what ill continue to go through. i came through the dark night well. then
theres the 7 bigger rays showing the 7 chakras and reminding me of the other sun symbol of the healing arts and love of peace. it shoudl look pretty well on its
own. i do feel ill be more me with it.
im in a place now whereas im very much walking a walk and i dont know where its taking me but i know im heading towards greater spiritual fulfillment. like i have to keep
cultivating and personally developing with all these ideas i have now.
so this will be an expression of me individually, my rite of passage to being more me. somehow i feel ill feel more manly with it than without it. i could go on
about modifying the design but that would be over thinking. i feel as sure about it as i possibly can be and it's one of those things now i know is the way forward
and it would just be fear stopping me. its not a bad decision. if it is in reterospect then i know that right now i operated from the best possible level of consciousness
i could and that i am an aware person at this time.
it is like entering a relationship or getting married. it could go wrong but you do your best at the time. i will move through this and use that symbol through
my life. i hope i can have a love relationship with it on my body and it can grow old with me as a friend said about hers. i do feel the potential love for it now and
want to really carry that on as a commitment as cheesy as it sounds. i'll write again tomorrow after i get it.
thinking back to of the last year since april 2012. so much with running and Tao group, all my new connections and coming throuh al the nasty D situation , all the houses
change and now to now and feeling pretty damm good and even stopping drinking maybe. its cool to have the feeling of wanting a tattoo and to be following it through.
i know it would onlyt be fear stopping me. i am excited and nervous. that fair feeling i guess.
Friday, 6 September 2013
deciding on the right labyrinth
I spoke to my tattoo designer and got the other labyrinth idea sent but feel I am going to go with the original as on my starting post. I just feel it's cool and a bit more querky. My designer said that the sun could be made a bit more like the native American sun moving a bit to one side. I'm feeling though that whereas that symbol encompasses peace and the healing arts which I love I feel it looks a bit too trapped without the rays just expanding out. I like how the original design is quite expressive and more yang. The sun and the labyrinth just being that whole sense of the self overcoming the shadow, growth, evolution, death and rebirth, the whole me becoming the new me.
I've enjoyed looking at the design and just thinking how it will look on me. I do feel I'll be more me with it. It feels like a great treat for myself and something I can live with. It's been planned well enough I feel. It will still have the seven big rays which for me will be about the chakras and still the link with the native American sun, healing arts etc. I will remember that I gave that original foundation.
I guess a tattoo doesn't have to encompass every single thing about a person. It's those main themes though and for me it is the whole rebirth into the new me and this tattoo really has that. I feel I can enjoy it and wear it with pride and honour as a representation of confidence in the new me and my newfound sense of self. It has been a difficult time which I have come through and now I know I'm loads better for it. :)
I will call on Monday to make the appointment. :) I can put another $100 in the account for it on Thursday making $300 which should totally cover it really. What a wonderful treat for me. I'm excited while being nervous about getting it. I do feel I'll be more me with it than without it. My soulful expression on my body. It's great to write and feel that. :)
I've enjoyed looking at the design and just thinking how it will look on me. I do feel I'll be more me with it. It feels like a great treat for myself and something I can live with. It's been planned well enough I feel. It will still have the seven big rays which for me will be about the chakras and still the link with the native American sun, healing arts etc. I will remember that I gave that original foundation.
I guess a tattoo doesn't have to encompass every single thing about a person. It's those main themes though and for me it is the whole rebirth into the new me and this tattoo really has that. I feel I can enjoy it and wear it with pride and honour as a representation of confidence in the new me and my newfound sense of self. It has been a difficult time which I have come through and now I know I'm loads better for it. :)
I will call on Monday to make the appointment. :) I can put another $100 in the account for it on Thursday making $300 which should totally cover it really. What a wonderful treat for me. I'm excited while being nervous about getting it. I do feel I'll be more me with it than without it. My soulful expression on my body. It's great to write and feel that. :)
Thursday, 5 September 2013
mini update
Thinking today if I particularly want it in time for the marathon at start of November. I'm thinking I'm dwelling on it too much. I would like to check out the other labyrinth but don't know if it's so important. I'm thinking though I'll call next Wednesday then see if that's done then take things from there. I guess I'll have it the rest of my life so maybe shouldn't get so worried. Maybe I'll have lots of marathons to do it with. I hope anyway. I'll just make sure I get it this year maybe. Later on in November could be fine. I'll just be patient for now.
Friday, 30 August 2013
extra tattoo thought
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
It probably is good that Monday is cancelled particularly with it being a first ever one although I was kind of tempted to go back and ask for it again. We'll see what comes up anyway.
It probably is good that Monday is cancelled particularly with it being a first ever one although I was kind of tempted to go back and ask for it again. We'll see what comes up anyway.
Thursday, 29 August 2013
reading 'The lucky ones'
It struck me while reading this quite moving book by Jenny Brown about her life, cancer and her meaningful life helping farm animals. See here. It was cool to read about the point where she got a tattoo after reading some meaningful words which touched her deeply. It more reiterated me wanting to get one I guess. i realise more how it doesn't have to be absolutely spot on encompassing everything but atleast a labyrinth and a sun. Maybe that original design could do the trick really. About my growth, death, rebirth and progress which I have experienced for sure. I had a real dark night of the soul and am continuing to grow heaps. If I can't encompass everything else right now I feel that will still be great. We'll see how things develop anyway.
Those words on one of the tattoo pages read 'show me someone with a tattoo and I'll show you a story'. well maybe it's not always true but I feel when it is true is when tattoos are cool and I feel I have a story around mine (when I get it) which makes me kind of happy :)
Those words on one of the tattoo pages read 'show me someone with a tattoo and I'll show you a story'. well maybe it's not always true but I feel when it is true is when tattoos are cool and I feel I have a story around mine (when I get it) which makes me kind of happy :)
Background and a why ..
Just wanted to create a separate blog to log my conscious journey to getting a tattoo or not. Again a way to keep myself conscious and go through my journey. Part of keeping my sanity again. I thought of getting a tattoo when I went passed my one year Vegan birthday and also was chatting to some mates about tattoos. I read a really cool book about tattooing called 'The sociogenesis of body art' saying about different reasons such as rites of passags, individuality etc.
I guess mine was just that I'd changed a lot through my personal development group and through becoming Vegan. I wanted kind of a symbol of the new me so to speak.
I have been to a tattoo place and have explored some designs. I'm looking into a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun symbol. The labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth, evolution and progrss amongst other things such as looking for the way to have the best possible impact on the world. The native american sun is of the healing arts (my counselling) and of a peace loving person (my veganism and other parts of my new life).
I wanted it to look cool too though and would like it on my back.
I took in the two designs and was expecting to hear back first two weeks of August but took longer. I got a design which looks pretty cool with the labyrinth there and some great dotted artwork for the sun. The labyrinth could maybe be a better one though and whereas the sun looks great and actually as just a sun symbolises the same as the labyrinth doesn't quite have the essence of the native american sun in there although admittedly that can look a bit dull and I do want it to look cool. I've sent back to get more ideas. See above.
I was going to have it as soon as I got back on the monday but due to the delays in getting the design it will now be later. In fairness I am actually thinking now that due to jetlag and the stress of me getting a first tattoo it could actually be better that it's a bit later.
When I got the design I felt a bit scared as it was getting more real but now I feel pretty cool about it. My folks will likely disapprove but it doesn't matter. It'll just be one on my back and I'm feeling some symbol of me even not encompassing everything but just where I am right now in life is a cool thing and just something of an experience to have and something to grow old with me as an art on my body. Kind of like a story in itself which I like. There's romantic elements to it I think.
Johnny Depp speaks about his well and similarly there's quite a cool page the same as I got my design from which talks about the whole experience of being tattood. Check it out. My design I've got up to now is below too.
It's now all in process anway. Kind of an exciting journey for me I want to log here. :) See where the design is up to below. :)
I guess mine was just that I'd changed a lot through my personal development group and through becoming Vegan. I wanted kind of a symbol of the new me so to speak.
I have been to a tattoo place and have explored some designs. I'm looking into a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun symbol. The labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth, evolution and progrss amongst other things such as looking for the way to have the best possible impact on the world. The native american sun is of the healing arts (my counselling) and of a peace loving person (my veganism and other parts of my new life).
I wanted it to look cool too though and would like it on my back.
I took in the two designs and was expecting to hear back first two weeks of August but took longer. I got a design which looks pretty cool with the labyrinth there and some great dotted artwork for the sun. The labyrinth could maybe be a better one though and whereas the sun looks great and actually as just a sun symbolises the same as the labyrinth doesn't quite have the essence of the native american sun in there although admittedly that can look a bit dull and I do want it to look cool. I've sent back to get more ideas. See above.
I was going to have it as soon as I got back on the monday but due to the delays in getting the design it will now be later. In fairness I am actually thinking now that due to jetlag and the stress of me getting a first tattoo it could actually be better that it's a bit later.
When I got the design I felt a bit scared as it was getting more real but now I feel pretty cool about it. My folks will likely disapprove but it doesn't matter. It'll just be one on my back and I'm feeling some symbol of me even not encompassing everything but just where I am right now in life is a cool thing and just something of an experience to have and something to grow old with me as an art on my body. Kind of like a story in itself which I like. There's romantic elements to it I think.
Johnny Depp speaks about his well and similarly there's quite a cool page the same as I got my design from which talks about the whole experience of being tattood. Check it out. My design I've got up to now is below too.
It's now all in process anway. Kind of an exciting journey for me I want to log here. :) See where the design is up to below. :)
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